Such as, I love you (you really can’t say this one enough in any given day), I value your opinions, I am proud of you, you did a great job, you look beautiful, your very talented, I am always here if you need to talk, and on and on. Let it become a daily habit for you to speak positive and loving words to your daughter and if you have a good relationship it should come naturally and always from the heart.

There is no room at all for negative and hurtful words to your daughter at any age…just don’t do it. You may be thinking it in your head, but keep it there.

If they do wrong, you let them know you don’t agree with what they did and that their decision has consequences, but no means do not tell them they are stupid, bad, ugly, will never amount to anything and so forth…what you may not realize, if you’re not thinking, is you blurt something out in anger that is very hurtful and very hard to take back and a little word like ‘stupid’ or any other negative word can affect her for the rest of  her life and have an impact on how she raises her own children…there is no room for this whatsoever in your daughter’s life…please think before you speak just as you teach your daughter to do.

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What they see is what they do. ..always remember this.

This starts young, very young, once they become teens they aren’t as impressionable anymore but they still “do” and “learn” what mom and dad do. It is not the responsibility nor should you rely on teachers, pastors, neighbors, grandparents, etc. to be the best role model for your child. Understand that there will be many role models in your child’s life that will effective them, but ultimately you are and always will be the best role model in your child’s life…remember this.

Ok moms and dads, I know this is a tough one sometimes, but believe me everything your daughter sees she learns and wants to do the same or in their mind thinks its ok to do the same.

So it’s important to always be on guard, you won’t always be perfect but always be conscious of what you’re doing and what you’re saying in front of your daughter, whether they are young or in their teens.

It’s a funny thing that kids pick up on so much that we don’t even realize it. From my daughters younger years I have tried my hardest to mind my P’s and Q’s and that means I don’t swear, gossip, excessive drinking and do adult things around them and even to this day I try to be on my best behavior and the best role model I can be…I’m not perfect and make mistakes just like everyone else and sometimes it’s hard to bite your tongue, but I am always aware of where they are when I am having adult conversations, I treat others with respect so they will learn the same, I taught them it’s not nice to neither talk about other people nor engage in gossip and that it’s none of their business.

As adults your kids do not need to see everything you do and hear everything you say, some things are meant for adults only and your kids don’t need to be dragged into your adult conversations or problems nor overhear them…so always be aware of where your kids are before engaging or talking about things meant only for adults…they don’t need their minds clouded with what is yet to come…just let them be kids.

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As a teen, your daughter needs to understand responsibility, they need to learn that every decision they make has an end result whether good or bad and this needs to be a learning lesson for them. They need to understand that they are 100% responsible for their actions and choices. It’s your job as a parent to teach them that there are consequences/end results of every single decision and action they make.

This is important because it will teach them as they go through life to think before acting and know that they are responsible for their own actions. Now, granted there is a line to draw and as such don’t let them make the decision like going to a party where you know the parents are gone, older boys will be present, etc. I am talking about every day normal and usually “safe” choices they have to make in their daily lives…give her some space…let her learn while you keep a “safe distance” eye on her.

I do want to note that if your daughter comes to you for advice on handling a certain situation, please Do Not ignore her and say, “I don’t know, you decide” you need to advise her in what you feel is the best way to handle her situation and then tell her the final decision is up to her, if she can’t make up her mind and she says, “Mom I just don’t know what to do” and she can’t decide then she needs more direction and guidance and this where you step in.

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